It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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