I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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