now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
