i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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