Your mouth is God's brothel.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize