my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
