Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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