I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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