there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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