I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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