So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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