YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
