the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
