i just identified you from a description of your pipe
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
