i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
