so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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