Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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