He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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