he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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