The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize