The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
