yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
