Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
