do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
