I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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