theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
