Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
