she looked like the before picture.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
