Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
