Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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