Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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