You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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