Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
