Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
