As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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