Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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