Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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