drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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