elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
