It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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