4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
