I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
