Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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