My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
