haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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