You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
