Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
