yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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