It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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