I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i've created a new STD.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
