Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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