I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
