watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
