told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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