Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
