dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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