we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
