I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize