You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
