Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
