we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
